i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
