Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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