I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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