don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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