I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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