Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Oh god it's open bar.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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