Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
