im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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