i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
