Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He has the fingertips of a God
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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