well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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