There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
