just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
