Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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