so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
