I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
