is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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