i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
