nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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