I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
