you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still have a little drunk in my system
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
