I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
