please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
