That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
