I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I could fuck to npr.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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