Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
