VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
