you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he shaved USA in his pubs
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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