dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize