How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
