...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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