he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
