Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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