It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
