I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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