Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
