It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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