Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize