plz talk dirty to me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
