i just google imaged poop.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
