Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
