wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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