If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That's intense
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
