I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
