He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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