tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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