I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Your tits are I can't wait for
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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