if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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