I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
