I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you win again, gameday.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
