I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
foreskin is a definite game changer
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
