We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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