Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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