i came on her dog
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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