well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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