just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
