I must be too annoying 4 u.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
