The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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