I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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