That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
