I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
