Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You are a genius and a whore.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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