We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
