Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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