There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
