return my video game
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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