best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
