Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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