I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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