i can't believe i had my finger in that
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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