it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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