If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
