it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
