Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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