There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
