Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
