I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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